A short story, mostly brought to you by ChatGPT:

Drew is finally leaving Boston, and he's counting down the days with the same giddy anticipation most people reserve for a tropical vacation. He’s tried that tactic through scores of iterations by now, though, and deep down, he just knows it’ll never work. After six long years of living in a city that seems to hate him just as much as he hates it, Drew is ready to escape. He’s spent those years pursuing a PhD in chemical biology, but somehow, surviving Boston feels like the more significant achievement.

He wakes up one morning in his drafty apartment, which is somehow cold even in August. The hum of the city wheezes half-heartedly as if it’s as tired of Boston as Drew is. Outside, the sun is shining in that deceitful way Boston does best, making it look like a beautiful day until you step outside and get slapped in the face by a rogue wind that smells vaguely of sweat, Dunkin’ Donuts, and regret.

As Drew walks to the lab for one of his final days, he passes by his usual haunts, or as he likes to call them, "the sites of many disappointments." There’s the row of restaurants that close at 9 p.m. sharp, like they’ve got a grumpy spouse to get home to. The bar that stops serving food just as Drew’s stomach starts growling. And, of course, the T station, where he has spent a combined total of several lifetimes waiting for a train that is, predictably, delayed. And let’s not even start with the shuttle buses.

In the lab, Drew’s colleagues are talking about his going-away party. They’re planning a big send-off, because they just can’t wait to have one goddamn ounce of peace and quiet around the place. Drew can’t help but laugh at their enthusiasm. “We should do something that captures my true Boston experience,” he jokes. “How about we all walk the Boston Marathon route? But instead of running, we can resentfully march it like we’ve got somewhere better to be.”

His labmates think he’s kidding. He’s not.

The idea doesn’t really catch on, and soon enough, Drew’s going-away party is less of a party and more of a ceremonial pilgrimage. He’ll start at Hopkinton, just like the real marathon, and walk all the way to Boylston Street, carrying nothing but bitterness, his insulin pump, and a good fucking attitude.

As Drew marches along the route, he’ll point out every spot that has caused him grief over the years. “That’s the empty club with the $10 cover charge where a large middle eastern man screamed into my ear, ‘I fucking love Pittbull’ to a Neyo song,” he says. “And over there’s where I rushed to make the last train of the night, only for it to sit in the station for an hour and I had to walk home three miles in a blizzard. Good times.”

By the time they reach the finish line, Drew’s friends will be laughing, their resentment toward the city growing in solidarity with his. They shall end the journey at a bar that, for once, is still open past 9 p.m. They will order drinks, raise their glasses, and toast to Drew’s departure.

As they sit there, maybe Drew will realize he might actually miss this place. Not the cold or the dysfunction or the angry pedestrians or the baffling restaurant hours, but the camaraderie that only comes from sharing a mutual loathing of something. Boston has been a test of endurance, a rite of passage, and a long, winding marathon of challenges.

And then, at the finish line, Drew may feel a fleeting, myopic, and pitiful sense of victory. He’s done his time, run his race, and now, he’s finally leaving.

But before he goes, he will turn to his friends and raises one last glass. The toast remains a mystery as of yet, but it is sure to be underwhelming, self-centered, and moderately unhinged.

You’re all invited to Drew’s going-away party, by the way. Just don’t be surprised if you find yourself walking the Boston Marathon route, grumbling under your breath about all the reasons you’ll never come back too.

TLDR: DREW IS WALKING THE BOSTON MARATHON ROUTE. FOLLOW DREW BELOW ON THE LIVE MAP AS HE WALKS, AND FEEL FREE TO JOIN FOR ANY PART OF THE WALK YOU'D LIKE. HE WILL END AT COPLEY SQUARE AND FINISH THE DAY WITH A PARTY AT THE HUB PUB NEAR PARK STREET.

The Boston Marathon Route: